In searching for your Ceremony Officiant, the first step to take is to verify that the Officiant is available for your wedding on your date and time. 

If the Officiant is unavailable, ask if they can recommend another Officiant for you.

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If you do not have a wedding planner and wish to have a smooth flowing ceremony, I strongly recommend holding a rehearsal. 

If you are having attendants in your wedding party, a rehearsal some time before your ceremony allows them to feel more confident during the actual ceremony.  Your attendants want to shine at your wedding, and make you proud of them.  Frequently, members of the wedding party have not participated in a wedding ceremony before, and have questions about their roles.  An opportunity to ask those questions and practice walking down the aisle will greatly increase their confidence at your ceremony.

A rehearsal also allows for last minute configuration changes to work out any bugs.  For example, the flower girl is not going to walk down the aisle alone.  You need a table for the Unity Candle or sand containers.  The rehearsal will allow you an opportunity to avoid last minute changes before the ceremony.

A rehearsal usually takes about an hour or less to run through twice.  The value in added confidence of your wedding party and a smoother ceremony greatly offsets the reasonable cost.

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Find out where your Officiant is located, and then ask if the Officiant is willing to travel to your ceremony and rehearsal location(s). 

If a considerable distance is involved, or travel is through a heavy traffic area, inquire about additional fees for travel mileage and time.

If distance is involved, does the Officiant request that you pay for air fare or hotel?

These are matters that should be discussed between you and your Officiant at your initial meeting.

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You should interview Officiants until you find the person you are most comfortable with, who fits your budget and is willing to travel to your rehearsal and wedding locations.  If these meetings are not complimentary, they can become expensive.  Be sure to inquire whether or not the initial meeting is complimentary so you do not face an unpleasant, unexpected charge for the meeting. 

Most Officiants will offer a complimentary, get acquainted meeting, and start to plan your ceremony, if you both like each other.  Remember, you will be working closely with your Officiant, and you will want to feel comfortable with that person and confident they will represent your wishes at your wedding.

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Don’t be afraid to ask your Officiant what the fees are for your ceremony and rehearsal.  Find out what’s included in those fees, and what are considered extra charges.  Don’t be surprised on your wedding day with additional charges that weren’t explained to you. 

• Does your Officiant charge extra for a rehearsal? 

• Does the Officiant charge extra for travel outside a certain area? 

• Does the Officiant charge extra for additional meetings? 

• How much time is included for preparing your ceremony? 

• Can you call or email your Officiant, or is there an additional charge? 

• Can you customize your ceremony? 

Your wedding is your special day, and you don’t want it spoiled by unexpected money issues.  It is your money, so be sure to know what is included in your package.  Don't be afraid to ask, your Officiant shouldn't mind explaining the details of preparing your ceremony and outlining included items.

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Will your Officiant perform a western wedding and dress in western clothing?  How about a Hawaiian wedding in coconut bra and grass skirt?  On a horse?  On a rollercoaster?  Skydiving?  In a cemetery on Halloween?

Themed weddings can be a lot of fun, and you want everyone to participate.  That should include the professionals you hire, including your Officiant.  You should share your theme with the Officiant at the initial meeting or sooner so the Officiant can accept or decline.  If you are planning a skydiving wedding ceremony, you would want to make sure the Officiant loves to skydive also.  If the Officiant is uncomfortable with your wedding theme or activity, they should let you know immediately, so that you can continue your search for a skydiving horseback riding Officiant!

When planning a themed wedding, provide as much detail about your ceremony to the Officiant as possible to insure that your expectations will be met.

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As with any professional you hire, you should know about their background and experience. 

• How long has the Officiant been performing weddings? 

• How many ceremonies does the Officiant perform in a month or year? 

• How many weddings have been missed and why?

• How many times has the Officiant been late and why?

• Can the Officiant provide testimonials or references?

• Why does the Officiant perform wedding ceremonies?

The answers to these questions will provide you some background information on the Officiant’s experience and level of service. 

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If you are getting married in a church or other organized religious ceremony, the minister or priest will perform their standard marriage ceremony.  Many will not allow any variation of the religious ceremony and all additions you propose must be approved by him or her. 

A judge at the courthouse has a standard, short ceremony to perform.  You show up in the courtroom, the words are spoken, and you leave as husband and wife.  You essentially have no control over the ceremony. 

The same can be held true for many Officiants.  Some have standard ceremonies they use, and do not allow for deviation. 

If the content of your ceremony is important to you, the vows you will make to each other, the readings and traditions performed, you will want to find an Officiant who will allow you to customize your ceremony.  If you are uncomfortable or do not have time to write your whole ceremony, the Officiant should have ceremony language available to help you create your ceremony.  If you wish to write your ceremony or parts of it, the Officiant should be willing to work with you.

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Make sure you schedule an initial meeting with the Officiant so that you can talk in person and get to know each other.  It will become apparent at this meeting whether or not you click.  Does the Officiant express respect for you as a couple?  Is the Officiant non-judgmental of your life situation?  If the Officiant makes you feel uncomfortable in any way, you should continue interviewing other Officiants.  You will be working closely with your Officiant to plan your wedding ceremony, and you want to feel comfortable and confident with your choice.

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If you are having a traditional style wedding, do you want the Officiant to show up in a gold lame top and purple pants?  This story was laughed about at a dinner party, many years later, but at the time, was a surprise to the bride, groom and guests.

Be sure you coordinate attire with your Officiant so the Officiant is not inappropriately dressed for your wedding ceremony.  If you are having a themed wedding and wish a specific style of dress, let your Officiant know.  If you desire casual attire, tell the Officiant.  You are in charge, and your Officiant needs to know what you expect.

If your wedding traditions do not include black or red, don’t hesitate to tell your Officiant.  Likewise, if you are having a more traditional religious ceremony and wish your Officiant to be in robes.

The three of you appear together in front of your family and friends for 20-30 minutes, and you want your ceremony picture perfect, not a comic book clashing of color and style.

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• Does the Officiant belong to any professional affiliations or organizations? 

• Is your Officiant properly licensed to solemnize marriages in your state? 

• What steps does the Officiant take to learn new skills and improve? 

• Does the Officiant have referrals to other professionals? 

The Officiant should be another resource for you to obtain recommendations to other professionals.  You will want your Officiant to treat the other professionals you hire in a professional manner. 

You do not need a prima dona on your wedding day!  Your wedding day is all about you, and is not a stage for your Officiant to strut their stuff.  Your Officiant should not outshine you. 

You will want your family and friends treated with courtesy and respect, so be sure the Officiant exhibits these qualities at your initial meeting.

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On a sunny Sunday afternoon last summer, the phone rang.  It was a bride frantically searching for an Officiant to perform their wedding ceremony on the following Saturday.  The Officiant they had hired, had suddenly cancelled their wedding so she could spend quality time with a family member. 

The following day, another call was received from another bride looking for someone to perform their ceremony in two weeks.  Their Officiant cancelled because he had double booked them. 

On a Thursday evening in August, I received yet another call from a frantic bride searching for a replacement Officiant for the next evening.  Thankfully, I was able to clear my calendar for Friday evening, and come to her rescue.  Some are not so fortunate. 

I don’t know about you, but I would be ripping my hair out if I was the bride in these situations.  You are scheduling your wedding months in advance, and yes, life is unpredictable.  Your Officiant can catch a bug, have an accident, or any other type of emergency and suddenly be unable to perform your ceremony.  Will your Officiant leave you in the lurch, or does the Officiant have a back up contingency so you are not stressed searching for an Officiant to perform your ceremony at the last minute?   

Sometimes life throws us an unexpected curve ball so I have taken care to associate with a warm, wonderful and capable Officiant who can fill in for me should an unexpected emergency strike.  If I am unable to perform your ceremony, then my associate will immediately step in and perform your ceremony in my place.  I do not perform mass weddings, nor overbook my dates.  You are treated with the same courtesy and respect that I would wish to have at my wedding!